(Budz storms into gwell/Bent's media office)" Yea bud...z?"
"Uh...can I he-"
(Budz throws a pile of papers in an arc that starts landing on the table and ends landing on my head. By the time the wall of paper falls enough so I can see again, Budz is gone)
I mumble, "Like Batman except cooler. So what is this crap?" Various papers read the following:
Budz eazy peezy 'how to write a VG Recap'
Budz wookie cookie 'how to bake'
Budz favorite lingerie mod-"That's mine."
I look up to find no one is there. By the time I glance back down, the last paper disappears and "Write a VG Recap," is circled
I call out, "You could just ask like a normal person!" Then I mutter, "Mimic the World's Greatest Detective. Friggin Budzman over here. Greatest Detective? How bout you figure out how to talk to people, dammit? "
VG recap step 1: Get all stats by team so you can point out top players for each team.
"Yea well the site dont do that for VG IHL so you get what I give you and you like it!"
Team 1: Rogle. Castro's team went 5-3 with big losses to Sweden and one loss where they got sneezed on by the totally out of place, mispelled Carlstadt, NJ team. Am I reading this name right? F...f.fuuuhhh...Farjestad (Gezundhit). With castro, kylej, reapz, brxfio, binklee, xjonsy, their top end can go against anyone. Depth was an issue that led to some of their losses and barely there 1 goal wins.
Team 2: Frolunda Lundqvists (indians). 4-4 week 1. A huge trade added Champo to an already stacked top line of Mikeh (who gets a capitalized name bc he is the god), vxking, woezzy, with ultra talented sharkie in net. There's some real nice depth on D with vanh33zi and kep. On day 1, between their two opponents, three top players quit on their respective teams bc of how frustrating it was to go against this top Frolunda unit. Unfortunately, availability is a slight concern and the AA/PR/out of position taxi squad lost to SC Bern. Thurs was a full ff. This team is going to be a problem all szn when the top line is ready. Each opponent of theirs has to flip a coin and pray they get a ff w or the taxi squad of AA's/PRs/guys out of position.
Team 3: Gotteron Fribourg. Their record was...oh geez is this right? It was O and....O and...just Ouch. The team that reads like, "Got 'er, Ron!" Of all the teams in VG, this was one of them in week 1. After getting shut down night 1 by Frolunda and the Red Bulls, certain guys got moved/might've quit. They lost a ton of top talent in a lopsided trade that saw Liljegren and lilchappy go to canada. Got 'er Ron? Idk who Ron is, but the only thing he's got is a terrible trade that made budz team greaterer again. The best player they got back (Calgross) so far hasnt played a single game (Can inactives be traded to get god tier talents?) S hawk, Mulame, stlblues and jesus price are all real talented so expect the team's record to be low-mid.
Team 4: Calrstadt, NJ, Farjestad (God bless you). Mixed bag as they went 5-3 with a few surprising wins. One against Rogle. Another where they won the coin toss and got a FF W against Frolunda. Still, jewofcanada, vito, PNC, Mesmerize...these are great players who, more often than not, don't need luck. Jewofcanada showed his skill as a player and owner in S23 making the cup final with Edm (ditto for vitto). Theyll need luck to get back to the finals but they've shown luck is when legit skill meets opportunity. They were not lacking for either in week 1. Although temp quitting the way he did was supremely unlucky and so far zerczy has only played 1 game. (I think this is the team that got screwed by temp quitting)
Team 5: 2-6 week 1 performance is highlighted by a huge shutout win over the sneeze name team, farjestad. After a legendary first overall pick in the draft, they struggled as expected and have been making lots of moves. We'll see if the really bad draft is something they can't recover from. Dmc is a great scorer who can really chip in on D and newf is a damn good G. Maybe there's something there with a few moves?
Team 6: Russia. 6-2 week 1. Boooouuuughs fell to them in the draft and they didnt hesitate to pounce. Ditto with Blades, druwwy, darkks and even the ultra talented but...mixed bag Iamsmoky. They got killed by sweden but then they beat Carlstadt, NJ's finest. Not easy. Another huge win against Rogle finished their week 1 along with being the second team to win the coin flip and get a ff w against frolunda.
Team 7: SC Bern. 2-6 week 1. I associate the name Bern with an infamously awful HF boards poster. So the name is fitting considering how it went for the team that ignored every elite VG NHL talent in the draft. Their top line of nantz, charlie tuna, skitzo and straits honestly wasnt even that bad. (Wasn't. Half those guys are gone already) Hell they were able to feast on the two AA's frolunda had on D in a Frolunda flip that Bern won. They also kept it close against sweden. But the magic 8 ball outlook for bern is that the big bear is going to end up on a bile farm by the end of the szn. Mosh can steal games as a good G but he needs to use his resources much more wisely to secure the best of the best in early draft rounds or his teams are always going to get caged and used for resources/stat boosting.
Team 8: Canada starts 1-3. Then ends 5-3 week 1. You could argue this team got completely bailed out by another owner's trade flub combining with the league's...quality control leniency for trades. (Liljegren AND chappy? Calgross who is not even playing goes back the other way?) They had a very solid but flawed group going into week 1 and got completely shutout night 1 (First by Rogle and then...let's say the Frolunda flip did not go Budz way in week 1). They showed they're a force to be reckoned with at the end of the week. Expect that to be the case going forward.
Team 9: Sweden 8-0. Hey, we all knew this was gonna be the team after that draft. They also won the frolunda flip week 1 (faced 3 AA's/PR + me in net). The most talented on-ice mgt team. Add in jorkos, redflag, chadkillz, papa, nexus, mtl-qc and you have a monster team that not only wins, it runs roughshod over even the better teams. I'd love to see their top line against Canada's, Frolunda's and Rogles in the playoffs.
Team 10: USA. 2-6. The wheels on this bus just fell right off. Fell right off. Fell right off. Started 2-2 with some wins against good teams! Kept it close against Russia. They finished with three 1-0 losses to end the week. I really questioned the draft they had. It seems the answer to my question isn't the success they'd want to have. There's some talent in kaxo, mxtthews and even all time locker room vibe bringer, hoagytime. Some trades or AA luck are desperately needed, though. This was the only team that won the Frolunda flip, faced multiple PR/AA's/out of position guys and yet still lost the game anyway.
Written By: Bentbd2pointoh